ALOHA, WHAT I LEARNED ON MY FIRST VACATION
By Sara Hageman
We had been married for twelve years before we took our first vacation…TWELVE!!! We had been “too busy”. Busy with work, busy with our teenage son, busy with ministry, busy with relationships, busy with church, …..did I mention busy with ministry?? So many people had been pulling on us, whether it was our jobs, or church or whatever, we were “sooooo busy!”
I remember at one time, we were both working physical fulltime jobs, (Chris in construction and I was a Mail Carrier). We had prayer meetings on Tuesday and Thursday nights, we pastored youth and had group on Wednesday nights, and we did deliverance/Sozo appointments on Friday nights and Saturdays. As part of a mobile church, Sundays were extra full because we also set up and tore down “church” all morning and into the early afternoon. This was our life for over three years. We were actually busy, really busy.
And then we went on a vacation. We boarded our flight to Maui, and in just five hours we would be relaxing on a white sand, blue water beach. Ahhhhh…..
We were super good at hanging out at the beach (my husband surfing, me soaking in the sun with a good book, morning walks. We are San Diegans after all. This made Maui our PERFECT FIRST vacation destination. We got off the plane, got our rental car, found Whole Foods to purchase goodies, set our GPS to our AirBnB, and were off to spend the next ten days together relaxing!
Immediately we realized the speed limit on Maui was waaaayyyy slower than we were driving. My husband realized it just in time: we passed a police officer a minute or so after he had slowed to what felt like Grandma Sloth’s pace. Still, since we had taken the early flight over to the island, we had most of the day left at 12:30 p.m., so we changed our clothes, grabbed our bathing suits and towels, and we were off to explore.
At the local beach near Paia, we started to talk about something, and all of a sudden we weren’t just talking…we were in a bit of a “discussion” which shortly turned into an argument. Here we were in paradise ARGUING! The next three days were full of small and big disagreements, bickering and overall uncomfortableness.
On day four of our relaxing vacation we both realized what was happening between us. We hadn’t made relationship or our own inner selves a priority. We were busy with “more important things.” Our ministry to people, to our son, to our jobs, had taken precedence over our connection with each other and even our own selves. All the things we were a part of WERE important and necessary; they were vital to others’ lives and our own. We love people and love watching them come into total freedom. Our ministry was and is truly a joy to us.
But we had forgotten our connection.
We looked at each other on that fourth day and prayed that God would reveal to us all the places we needed to shore up our marriage and our own hearts. Days four through ten were wonderful. Slowly, we began to settle into rest. We spent our mornings finding the best coffee shop on the island, getting breakfast at a small, local spot on the North Shore. We walked slower, we talked slower about our dreams, desires, future, and past. We also definitely drove slower. We had no schedule, no demands on our time, and no more arguments. We were finally truly learning to linger, to relax, to rest, and to find our connection once again. Except for a couples’ massage and an amazing dinner, we made no other “plans.”
We were LIVING ALOHA!!
Aloha, we learned is not just a greeting of hello or goodbye. The literal meaning of Aloha is “the presence of breath” or “the breath of life.” It comes from “Alo,” meaning “presence, front and face” and “ha,” meaning “breath.” Aloha is not only a word but a way of living. It expresses guidelines to help us in our lives of kindness, patience, compassion, respect, togetherness, affection, empathy, peace, and love.
Right now, the Presence of Breath has become the worst possible scenario. Our whole planet is in a state of protecting themselves from presence, front and face. Breath has become the enemy. We have rejected presence and breath to guard ourselves from death. It has become the most real and tangible momentum of hate that the enemy has unleashed on the earth in our lifetimes. Our lives have become slow, almost “Grandma Sloth style” slow. Being present feels like unseen prison bars shrouded by the four walls of our homes. The fear is palpable….BUT GOD….
He is Breath, He is Presence, He is Life! Face to face with Him is how we find our life, our breath, and our presence. We are made to love and to be loved. We are made for this moment in time! We are created to find our sacred space in our homes, with the ones we love the very most and to build our hearts, connections, friendships, and most importantly…the secret place with Jesus.
We have no agendas, no tours, and no plans for this unprecedented time. Our busyness comes from our family’s needs, the cooking, cleaning, laundry, school. How are we building our Aloha Life by extending kindness, patience, compassion, respect, togetherness, affection, empathy, peace, and love? Not just to those in our home, but how are we building these in our own hearts?
Take some time today, or in the days to come, and write down 100, yes, ONE HUNDRED dreams of that which you would want to do, or have, or accomplish if money and time were no object. Dreams are funny because we didn’t have any problem wanting to do or be someone great when we were children, but then we became grownups. We must find our hope in something. Let’s create hope for ourselves so that we can bring hope to those in our homes right now (even if the only one in your house right now is your cat)!
ALOHA MY BEAUTIFUL QUEENLY FRIENDS!!
Activation:
Writing 100 dreams may seem like a huge feat, but it can be fun if you give yourself to the process. There are no right or wrong dreams. If God is in us and we are in Him, then every desire inside of us becomes something He delights in. What parent doesn’t want to be a part of their child’s tea party or be the Robin to his Batman?
God loves to join in on the fun we dream up. Your dreams can be big, small, or even random. They can be extravagantly extravagant, and they can cost nothing. They can be exciting family trips or that dream kitchen remodel or building an orphanage in South Africa. There is no boundary and no limit to what you can dream up! Let your creativity flow and enjoy the process.
If you get stuck, spend some time with your heart and ask your heart a question: “heart, what is holding you back from fully being able to dream?”
Let your heart speak and then give it permission to dream just like when you were a little girl. I’m praying for you to find a new desire and the simple pleasures of life. Our future unlocks when we write down the dreams. Habakkuk says, “write the vison and make it plain.” This is our gift to ourselves, our families, and our futures. Take pen to paper my friends…….