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Mama's Boots

Mama's Boots

By Katrin Lotze

The other morning I was in my bathroom getting ready for the day when I heard my two year old daughter Tehillah’s frustrated cries coming from my closet. Not wanting to be seen, I peeked around the corner curious as to what her cause of irritation was.

Seals

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Don’t worry or surrender to your fear.          John 14:1

 

Keep Going, You’ve Already Won It!

By Lauren Hasson

 

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could continue.  Each day had its own stark reality.  The lies were unrelenting and penetrating, each opening up wounds that were festering with infection. 

“Will you do all that I ask you to do?”,  whispered the voice.

“Yes.” I hoarsely replied.

“Will you go where I ask you to go?”, continued the voice.

A long pause followed by the reality that there was nowhere else I could go.

“Yes.” 

The journey seemed unrelenting.  Inner healing, deliverance ministry, therapist, listening prayer, nutritionist, each with their own key to unlock an endless hallway of doors.  At times the steely resolve got me through the next layer in my journey of healing.  Then the panic, the anxiety, the depression would hit again.  “I’m too broken, there’s too many pieces to glue back together.  I know other people get healed, but somehow I’m missing something they have.”  After over two and a half years of grueling work, I was facing the next bout of depression.  Unable to see any progress, the dampness of oppression lay over me in a thick suffocating manner.  This day I couldn’t move forward.  No resolve.  Just acceptance that this must be my life.

My sister Karen called to check in on me.  Why hide?  Waves of sadness poured out of me as I hit a dark place of confusion and doubt.  I could not find the strength, I could not see the progress, just a long road of pervasive pain that never seemed to go away.  Her voice pierced through the darkness,

“I see you laying on the battlefield, bloody and bruised.  You want to lay down and surrender to your fear.  I’m sorry.  I’d like to let you do that, but YOU CAN’T.   I see a pack of wolves coming your way and they will destroy you.  Now with everything you have, you need to GET UP NOW.  You are almost at the end.  Trust me.  You’re almost there and the enemy’s so angry he wants to destroy you right before you are set free.  You can rest when you get there!”

Her words shot out at me with such passion and fury.  I must get up.  I must get up.  I must get up.  Something in her words gave me strength and courage.  She was with me, I wasn’t alone.  I didn’t know God’s mercy was pulling me up, strengthening my will and giving me all that I needed to start walking again out of that darkness.  I was so close to giving up right before the finish line.  I had no idea that my breakthrough was right before me and was contingent on my choices to follow Him at that moment in time.

It has been twenty years since that dark day.  It has been twenty years of God’s faithfulness and restoration.

Battlefields now inspire me.  Fearless commanders leading their troops against all odds fill me with their triumph of overcoming.  I love to see the Lord’s Army winning against the hoards of hell, seeing people moving into freedom away from the insidious captivity of the enemy.

When Banning Liebscher spoke about the Navy SEAL’s ability to defeat their enemy in the water, I was fascinated.  Over the weekend, I read about the SEALS, watched training footage on Youtube, immersed myself in this extraordinary life of these elite soldiers.  Their hell week is so grueling that often people are passing out underwater, their bodies incapable of the demands put on them through this battle of their mind, body and emotions. 

The greatest SEAL temptation?  Quitting!

During their excruciating training underwater, in extreme cold, living without sleep for weeks on end, they are given the easiest ever “opt out”.  Take your helmet off and ring the bell three times.  No questions asked.  You’re done.   You are giving into the reality that you have nothing left to give.  80% of these strong, young men ring that bell.

The drill sargeant is yelling, “Whatever you have to do, just find an excuse to win it!  Keep going!”

These special forces of Sea, Air, Land know that they must depend on a band of brothers that will not give up.  They are in it together.  Their bodies will respond as their mind tells them, there’s always a way out if you do not give up. 

Who is fighting with you?  Who are your Navy SEALS?  Do you have a band of sisters that are training to be soldiers alongside you?  Are you equipped by the power of His word, the truth of His presence, the experience of His mercy to get you up and strengthen you to win your battle in the moment you thought you couldn’t continue one moment longer?

Today I had a phone call with an amazing woman who shared that someone she has a covenant relationship with is struggling with depression.  My heart went out to her as I remember my journey all those years ago.  We prayed with great belief, asking the Father to complete the thorough healing He has for her life.  I shared my testimony of God’s great and tangible mercy over my own.

A few minutes later, I received an email from Kristin Tamsen that left me speechless from wonder and joy.  in the worst part of my depression, it had felt like i was at the bottom of a cold, dark well, unable to climb out.  Kristin wrote to me that God had created me to be a “deep, deep well in the Lord.”  She then went on to talk about the many streams of water flowing from the well that were full of life!  The very thing the enemy had used to torment me was actually a perversion of the very gift God made for me to become! 

Holy Spirit, train us to follow you.  Thank you for how we our spirits are one with your Spirit.  Strengthen us through Your word, Your prophecies, Your presence, Your great love for us.  Give us Your strength to overcome all the enemy’s lies.  We ask that you give us such grace that we will not take off our helmet of salvation and ring the bell of defeat.  We will keep it on!  We will finish our training!  We have already won the battle in you!  We will be stealth warriors, a band of sisters that stick close, move as one, and carry out the missions You have for us!  We believe in You and stand with Your armies of angels to carry out your plans of life and victory!

 In Jesus Mighty Name. Amen.

I leave the gift of peace with you, my peace.  Not the kind of peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts – instead be courageous!

John 14:27

Whatever you have to do, just find an excuse to win it!  Keep going!”

 “He is with you!  He will not desert you.  His mercy has already won it.  He’ll help you keep going!”